Hard-Boiled or Cozy

I’ve just completed my tenth book. All of them have been mysteries with graphic language. The first book was a treasure hunt centered on a family’s unusual history; and how that search, and the mystery behind it, changed the main characters. All of the other books have been murder mysteries. The Bootlegger’s Legacy was the building block for the other books in style, if not substance. I have described all of the books as being about unique (I hope) characters who are flawed but likable, experiencing some kind of conflict with bad or very troubled, people. The character development and dialogue between characters is an emphasis—there is humor, romance (no sex scenes) and no graphic violence-although, there are murders.

Except for the language choice, some people have described the stories as “cozy mysteries”. I think this may be due in part to my newsletter where I discuss cooking and my favorite recipes. I like cooking—so sue me. And, of course, the Vincent Malone books feature a B&B prominently in the story. So, hey, maybe these are cozy mysteries with a few f-bombs.

In an on-line interview I was asked why I used gritty language in TBL.

My goal was to tell a story about people. Some good ones and some bad ones. Many of the characters in this book are definitely “gritty” and the language they use is part of their character. This book has bootleggers, gangsters, drug dealers and, of course, some nice people. Even the nice people, under stress, can be very expressive.

The Bootlegger’s Legacy definitely set the tone for the other books. The language in all of the books was about authenticity. The characters were real to me (okay I know that is strange) and that was how they would talk, at least on occasion. Bad guys use bad words—it’s part of being bad. Good guys use bad words if someone is trying to kill them—it’s part of being very stressed and unhappy that someone is trying to kill you.

Much of the language is attributed to the personality of the character. In the Muckraker series, Joe Louongo never stops cussing—he is a foul mouth, street smart lawyer who works the under-side of society. Foul language is language to Joe. He doesn’t even notice the words might not be appropriate.

The Governor of New Mexico, Jerimiah Johnson, in the Pacheco & Chino series is a direct speaking no BS type of guy who has forgotten how to moderate his speech. He is direct and foul—so what! That is who he is, and he will not change.

The tenth book Four Corners War will be released September 3rd. All ten books share many aspects; with gritty language being one. The shocking part to me is that it all happens without much forethought. I just start writing and this is what happens.

I had an outline of TBL which did not include the bootlegger back story. It was going to be a misadventure by two “normal” guys trying to accomplish a drug deal in Mexico to fix their financial problems; and how it all went bad. It was going to be a humorous look at how two “good” guys got involved with a bunch of bad guys and didn’t get killed. I thought it was an original story idea—but, of course, we have all seen a ton of movies more or less with that same plot line—only different. I thought it was original because I knew those two guys—really. But the guys I knew never actually did anything—they just talked about it.

I wrote several chapters and realized it just didn’t flow. It was my book and I was already tired of it. It was flat, uninteresting story telling. But something happened. I introduced the bad guys; and wow, the whole story took on a new life. The bad guys were a hell of lot more interesting than my bland, clean speaking Okies. I was inspired. I tore up the chapters I had done and started over with a new vision. I opened with a prologue of the evil gangsters talking in a bar. Foul language, foul people, foul topics—it all seemed a lot more interesting to me and I hoped, my future readers (if there were ever any). The story took off, I enjoyed writing it—and more importantly I enjoyed reading it.

That experience with TBL led to the Pacheco & Chino books; and, yes, some foul language. It just seemed right to me. I know I get criticism from some reviewers who think I should be able to write without using words that offend them—and to them, I apologize that they were offended. But for me, the characters and circumstances dictate the language. All of the books involve very stressful situations and some very bad (or amoral) people. The language becomes part of the story to convey the stress, anger, disappointment, fear, love, hate and even joy that high tension situations can bring about.

Without those evil gangsters and their foul language introduced in The Bootlegger’s Legacy, all of the books could have been G-rated cozy mysteries. I guess that might have been better, but somehow that would not have been me, and I don’t think those characters would have felt as authentic.


Pre-orders of books allow the book to be promoted before being released-obviously. I’m sure the people who know what they are doing, no doubt, already have the book ready long before the release date. Those people also would have advanced copies out to potential reviewers. Not me. My small working group use the release date as a target date to get the damn thing finished. Yes, it’s no way to run a railroad. But so far we have always gotten everything in place on time—although under pressure. The next release is Four Corners War on September 3rd. And we are pleased with ourselves in that everything is ready to go on September 3rd—we are done.

If you haven’t already consider checking out the pre-order on Amazon for the e-book, please do. The pre-orders give me a nice boost at the beginning of the launch and helps with various Amazon programs. If you are more interested in the paperback, it will not be available to order until the 3rd.

Thanks for being a reader!

Truth in Fiction

There are general themes to most fiction books—sex, greed, hate, love, sadness, happiness. These and other attributes get mixed together to form the basis of a fictionalized story. It could be a murder mystery, like most of my books, but basically it’s about human beings; their faults and their strengths—for me it’s usually emphasizing faults (after all it’s a murder mystery). My stories are made up; fiction not fact. For sure, I didn’t personally experience all of these murders first hand, just so I could chronicle them for you to read about. No, I created the characters, the plot and the conclusion from nothing but thin air. Well almost.

All of my books have an element of truth. This may be a character based on someone I knew, could be a location where I lived, or maybe an event that actually happen. Each book has a kernel of truth which grew into a story of complete fiction.

Some of those truths are small, insignificant little facts; some are very important and major to the story. But for me, each seems vital to being able to tell the story. In Four Corners War, my latest book, one of the main characters (Grimes) was based on someone I had met. The book takes place in Farmington, New Mexico, the place I had encountered this real person. The story is made-up but loosely based on things that did occur, or were suspected.

There was a scene in Four Corners War where Grimes’s girlfriend shoots at him with her pistol while he’s in a swimming pool, causing him to swim back and forth as she shot just ahead of him; like it was a strange, deadly arcade game. That actually happened; or at least the real person told the story that it happened. He was a bizarre man but I don’t think he would have made that up. There was also a scene in his airplane where he demonstrates a hard landing like on an aircraft carrier while landing in Albuquerque—I know that actually happened; because I was in the plane– silently screaming.

The Muckraker series of three books I co-authored with Stanley Nelson were based on actual events–a newspaper war in Oklahoma City in the 1960s. In the story a key character, Albright, was inspired by a real person I knew. He was a political columnist for one of the actual newspapers described in the books. At the time, I owned a printing business (yes, one of many businesses I have owned) when I met the Albright character. And, just as occurred in the fictional story, he talked me into publishing a political gossip rag for him, at no cost. Why did I do that? It was a stupid business decision (one of many) but Albright was an amazingly talented and brilliant man who fought each day of his life against corruption and lies—he was a truth teller; and the world needs every truth teller it can get. That sounds like a noble reason on my part; but the truth is probably I just did it on a lark, and had trouble getting rid of him once it started. But he sure was entertaining and I still think he was brilliant.

All of my books occur in places where I have been or lived, and each location has special memories.

The Bootlegger’s Legacy was the story of two rather ordinary and not so happy guys trying to solve their life issues and fix their money problems. The story began and ended in Oklahoma City, where I was born and lived for a big chunk of my life. Not an exotic location but it had its own uniqueness. The characters were based on people I had known and maybe ever so slightly, myself. The idea of the backstory about a bootlegger was based on a childhood memory when the kids in my neighborhood would talk about the bootlegger who live on the next block over. For one summer it was the major excitement for us to know that there was a bootlegger right in our neighborhood. I remember wondering what it actually meant to be a bootlegger (I was very young). This was kid gossip about something forbidden, and it was very enticing.

Vincent Malone and Ray Pacheco do not represent anyone I have ever met. However, those series do take place in locations that I know well. Las Cruces, Truth or Consequences, Cloudcroft, Ruidoso, Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Farmington, Durango, El Paso and Denver. Each book, hopefully, captures some of the charm and uniqueness of these locations. While my books are definitely character driven with a strong emphasis on dialogue; the locations provide a backdrop of authenticity that I believe adds to each book.

Lots of stuff floating around the internet about how to write a book. Seven steps to a successful book. Step by Step process in creating your first book. Most of these will mention creating an outline, developing character details, brainstorming story ideas, create your ideal work environment—none of that has much to do with writing a story; a fiction book—at least not for me. At the core of every one of my books is some personal experience I had. I will take that experience and stretch it, mold it, exaggerate it, throw it against the wall and finally, decide on what I want to write. Not very scientific or even akin to common sense, but it works for me.

Incorporating something familiar, whether a person or a location, can be a good way to add yourself to the story. My best work, I believe, comes from these personal connections. It gives the story a sense of truth—even though it’s only fiction.

Thanks for being a reader!

Ignorance and Fear

While the children follow Jack. The kids
all do the “rain dance” chanting “Kill the beast,
slit her throat, bash her in”. Simon, not knowing what is going on, runs to alarm the other kids of a finding of his, the kids mistake him for the beast because his rustle through the tree scares them.

This is a departure from what I had planned to post today. The mass shooting in El Paso, Texas, was so upsetting I had to comment. I lived and worked for many years in Las Curces, New Mexico, which is a few miles north of El Paso. I moved to Las Cruces to take a Controller’s job with a large propane supplier which had dealings in New Mexico, Arizona and Texas. Plus, this company did significant business within Mexico through Juarez. Prior to this experience I had spent my entire life in Oklahoma, with all of the middle America bias that would suggest.

My experience in a multi-cultural, multi-language border community was an amazing awaking for me. One of my joys in life had been painting, but it had been dormant for a long time. Almost immediately this seemingly barren desert land and its colorful culture inspired me. Everywhere I looked there was something wonderful that I wanted to paint. The awareness of texture, color and beauty that I had felt, when I was young and thinking I wanted to be an artist, returned. I didn’t see a barren desert– it was alive with color and contrast. I have never painted as much as I did while living in this radiant part of the world. I fell in love with cacti—okay maybe it wasn’t love, how about fascination.

Many of my books take place in this part of the world. The Bootlegger’s Legacy has key scenes in Juarez and El Paso. The center of the mystery in the book begins to unravel in Las Cruces. Dog Gone Lies starts in Las Cruces and moves to T or C, New Mexico. Vincent Malone finds his mojo in Santa Fe. Yes, no question, that part of the country had great impact on me.

I attended numerous business meetings in El Paso and Juarez both as the Controller of the large propane company and then later as a self-employed financial consultant. There was one constant over those many years. The kindness and friendliness of the people I dealt with. Often these were Mexicans or Mexican descent Americans who more comfortably spoke Spanish than English. I was always treated with great respect and never did my lack of knowing their language cause any issues. They were bi-lingual and often some of the smartest people I have ever met in business and yet they accommodated me. If they ever thought what a dumb yokel I was, they never showed it.

Over the years I learned that graciousness was not something they did to accommodate a fish-out-of-water Okie, it was who they were; it was part of their culture to treat people in this wonderful manner. Now don’t get me wrong there are plenty of bad people who live in this area, but a lot fewer than most imagine. Over a very long business career I can assure you my most horrific experiences with people happen in places other than these border towns. One of the worst business meetings I ever had was in a high rise in LA with some of the biggest jerks on this planet—but that’s another story.

My experiences in Juarez were especially surprising to me. The business people I met in Juarez were some of the most sophisticated and knowledgeable people I’d ever been around. They were often running huge companies with international dealings and yet were polite and accommodating. I never went into a business meeting that did not feel warm and comfortable—even if we were negotiating difficult issues. Every meeting was conducted in perfect English to accommodate me—with no remarks about my inability to speak Spanish.

Some of this good feeling I experienced started to change before I left the region and definitely changed a lot after I left; due to the increased drug traffic. That change harmed both sides of the border and I believe was mishandled as much by us as the Mexicans. But even with increased violence due to the drug gangs these communities along the border are connected in ways it is hard for outsiders to understand. It was not that long ago that most of this area was Mexico. Many of the people who live here have grandparents or great grandparents who were born here when it was Mexico. Calling these people immigrants is the height of ignorance.

Our relationship with Mexico is a complicated mixture of joy, mistakes, misery and national treasure. But it is not foreign. We have great historical links that provide a wonderful cultural gift to everyone who lives in this country. We should celebrate our good fortune every day that we have this diversity. The hate we see from a few is based on ignorance and fear.

The human race has a long and troubling history with ignorance and fear—but we can’t seem to move away and embrace the goodness that exists all around us. Let’s hope someday we can.

Thanks for being a reader!

Characters Make the Book

Writing books is a chore. Yep, it does not just happen—it takes work. Obviously there is the mental issue—no that’s not saying you have to be “mental” to write books—but; okay, it helps. Before writing you have to have an idea for a book. Let’s say you want to write a mystery. You have to have a plot—or maybe several. Is it a murder mystery? Who was killed and why and by whom? Of course there must be characters—some of my books may have thirty or more —each needs to be developed to fit the story and described to the reader.

If you read my blog you know that I claim the characters write the book—just a little BS there. The characters drive the story; but they are directed. As you write, the characters take on their own existence and reactions in the book are based on those characters and how they would respond to what is happening. Of course they don’t write the book—that task falls to the author. Hours and hours of writing.

The characters make the book—usually more than the plot. People read books about people. My focus has always been on the characters. Often these fictional actors are a mixture of people I’ve known or, even in small ways, myself. Of course many of the characters are completely made up to fit the needs of the story.

The character I’m currently writing about is Doctor Hightower. He’s a man of mystery living in a small town in the foothills outside of Denver. He’s an attorney and apparently a doctor of some sort. But the most interesting aspect of this reclusive man is that he has discovered the fountain of youth—or at least a laboratory created substitute. Through the whims of happenstance, he was in the right place at the right time to stumble into a chance for everlasting life. That gift was accompanied by the tragic loss of his greatest love and the pain of a life of loneliness and grief—a never ending life.

So here is a character, who has no resemblance to anyone I knew—seldom ran into folks who claimed to be hundreds of years old—well wait a minute, there was that time in a bar in El Paso, never mind; that is another story. Dr. Hightower sure isn’t me. So a character that I’m not familiar with—how do you write about this unique person. Easy answer –you make it up.

I’ve never met a famous author, I know some people who write but they write mostly non-fiction, historical stuff. I often think about the great authors of the 1800s and early 1900s and the amazingly long novels they wrote, by hand, about the human condition. Some of these works explored the misery that existed for so many people; and yet more often than not these writers were usually well off—often from elite, wealthy families. One of these authors in particular fascinates me—Victor Hugo. His two greatest works were Les Misérables, 1862, and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, 1831.

These stories take us into the underworld of misery and injustice that existed for most people at the time. How does someone like Hugo write with such detail about something he had not experienced. What I have read is that he did research. For Les Miserables he visited some of the horrible prisons that existed at the time and talked to men who had no hope. But research is just observation and data gathering—he was still able from a position of privilege to describe the misery that existed in a way that touched everyone who read his books. He made it up.

A fiction author is someone who makes up stories. There is always an element of truth buried in every fictional account. Maybe it’s the author’s experience, or maybe observation, or maybe it just popped into the head of the author from some place we don’t yet understand.

Children are very good at making things up, even creating their own worlds; but are often scolded by adults for this creative act. Story telling becomes a no-no. A good fictional author may be the result of non-scolding parents who loved their children’s stories or maybe these authors are just good liars.

PS. I first read Hugo’s books as Classic’s Illustrated comic books. These comic books from the 1950’s had a great impact on my life—I still recall the wonderful feeling of reading these great stories. Obviously Hugo’s writing was dumbed down for kids—but the overall impact was still there. Both Les Miserables and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame were available as comics and they were two of my favorites. The sadness of the stories had a great impact on me. I spent a great deal time thinking about how these people lived and must have suffered. Why other humans would be so cruel was very troubling. I still don’t know the answer.

Where are we headed?

Wonder where this goes?

Recently I watched several TV shows on cable that had scenes that I found offensive. Several involved sex scenes that just seemed inappropriate for viewing unless you’re some kind of voyeuristic peeping-tom, also there were story lines involving extreme violence including mutilation of bodies—it was gory and offensive. These shows were supposedly entertainment and cost me money to watch—both aspects of that statement seem wrong.

Many shows on television have a rating of TV-M. I guess that stands for mature. I really question whether a mature person would watch some of these programs. Not sure who slaps that rating on TV shows but I believe it is not like the movies, where there are people who get paid to spend their days watching some really horrible movies to attach a rating.

Of course, I’m an author and have had a few people compare my works of fiction to trash because I used words they do not approve of. Are vulgar words the same as sex scenes or graphic violence. I don’t think so but maybe I’m wrong.

Why aren’t books rated the way movies are? Sounds like a good question doesn’t it? The answer is kind of silly–because there are too many books and it takes too long to read them.

Maybe a silly answer but it does make sense. There are thousands and thousands of books released every week compared to a small number of movies. Authors would have to pay fees to support the structure to allow for the army of book readers to read and rate each one. Starting to sound like a very bad idea. Movies take a couple of hours to watch– a book can take five times that or more to read. And of course the rating (just like movies) would be subjective.

I know there are people who have sites that rate books. These sites are looking for books that are family friendly–I guess that means no sex, no bad language and only good violence. Probably the bad language would have to be broken down into bad, very bad, super bad or something like that. Or maybe it would just be volume. Say a 70,000 word book can only have 100 bad words and still be okay for general reading–excluding kids.

There is a segment of the reading population that only wants books that have no “vulgar” language–none! A book rating might be nice for them but it is totally unnecessary. The vehicle for this information is the reader review. Somewhere around 5% of my reviews are about language–cuss words, vulgar words, dirty words, potty-mouth words; and these reviewers are not only passing along information but they also find time to scold me for such behavior.

I have written before about the context of my language choice. The gritty language is usually limited to the bad guys or the good guys under stress. There are exceptions–a couple of characters just had a tendency to use crude language in almost all situations. My other defense was that those “words” were not that frequent. But as I said before I don’t think the quantity is too important to the “bad word” people who are offended by any word that they consider bad whether it’s one or fifty.

For funnies I checked one of my books for offensive words. It happened to be Four Corners War which is the third Pacheco & Chino book and will be released in August. I chose that book because it is the one I’m working on and the manuscript was handy. I ran a word count and found a little over a two-hundred words that might be offensive. That is in a 70,000 word book—so less than a half of one percent of the words were gritty. I would guess that’s about average for my books–except for maybe the first one The Bootlegger’s Legacy–in that book most of the bad words were at the very beginning in the prologue where the gangsters are waiting to kill our hero and they are chatting–using a lot of vile words–after-all they are gangsters in a bar, what would you expect.

So what is the point? Where is this headed? We seem to live in a world without clear guidelines on what matters. Some things matter a great deal to some and none at all to others. We definitely don’t have a consensus on what is acceptable and what is not as it relates to entertainment. We have TV shows on cable that are violent beyond reason, where every other word is fuck where sex scenes are thrown in just as filler. Could I write my books without certain words? Sure. Will I? No. Why not? The why not is because it would change the book. The characters would be different—and I don’t want too!

Does that make me a hypocrite if I complain about sex and violence on TV but find crude words acceptable in writing. Maybe it does; but I think it means that I have defined my personal guideline and that is something we all can do. I have never resented the bad reviews related to the “bad” words, I always saw it for what it was—a message that if some words offend you –stay away. I agree.

I use words to tell a story and sometimes a good F-bomb is the best way to tell that story. And if someday someone decides to do a TV series of one of my books I will insist that they limit the violence and keep the sex behind bedroom doors. They would probably tell me to F-off.

Time to Write?

One of the recommendations I keep reading about on how to be a successful author is to write more books—one every three months is often suggested as a standard—why not one every week? In some ways it seems absurd to measure the success of a creative enterprise based on the time you spend creating. But, of course, what is being measured is more about marketing and the short cycle of attention that demands something new every day. Having a new book every three months would maximize marketing dollars and increase the author’s visibility so it must be good. Or is it?


I write quickly, when I’m writing, so producing a book every three months would be within my capability. But as an Indie author I spend about as much time dealing with other aspects of book writing as I do writing. The details of publishing and the time consumed by marketing will usually be about the same as writing. Of course someone else could do that—but I’m not in the position to hire someone for those other tasks. That probably means that two to three books a year is about my limit.


Usually I’m carrying around with me every day at least two, sometimes ten ideas for a book. They just sort of bubble around inside my head until one day I begin the story. Very little prep work –I just start. There are authors who will spend almost as much time preparing to write as they do writing—I really admire this approach and wish I could do it. Prepare a detailed outline, develop a story board for scenes, list all of the important characters, even write character descriptions—wow, this is so impressive. Authors also do extensive research on locations, the elements of law in a book, details about specific issues related to crime, the courts, jails, anything you can think of; it is amazing the details that will be in a book—even a book of fiction. This is not how I work—I wish I could. It just sounds so orderly and efficient.


I have said this before and it still sounds a little goofy, but it seems to me the characters write my books. I start the process and lay out the basics but often the story takes on a whole new approach as I’m writing. The characters by their actions will dictate how a story progresses. I didn’t plan it—it just happened.

The first book I wrote, The Bootlegger’s Legacy, was not going to be about a bootlegger (obviously that was not even the title of the book when I began) it was going to be about two normal guys, honest business-people who found themselves in financial trouble and decided to do a drug deal to save their businesses and their families. That idea came from something I had actually seen happen. From day one that kernel of an idea grew, changed, and then exploded into something entirely different. It was still two guys dealing with financial and family issues but it became a different story. A much better story I might add—with almost all of it made-up. The kernel of fact turned into something unknown to me until I started writing.


Some writers need the details planned in advance, for me that would be a serious mistake. I need to start an adventure and see where it leads. That first book taught me to write on the fly and see where it goes. But I still envy the writers who can plan and devise details in advance of writing—it just sounds so organized and mature.


That three-month cycle of writing books is a recent ideal, no doubt, based on something to do with Amazon algorithms. Authors are infamous for taking as long as it takes to write books. Many famous authors took what in Amazon terms would be a lifetime to write a book. Margaret Mitchell took ten years to write Gone with the Wind—and supposedly only began writing because she was bored and never intended it to be published. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the Hobbit and was asked to write a follow up. Some seventeen years later he finished The Lord of the Rings. The manuscript was 9,250 pages which his publisher decided to break up into three books. Based on the Amazon driven standard of four books a year Tolkien would have written 68 books during that time not just three. Maybe the 68 books would have all been great; but somehow I think we’re better off with the three Tolkien actually wrote, no matter how long it took.


Since I’m not Tolkien or Mitchell I will stick with my goal of two to three books a year because it’s what I can do and it seems to work on Amazon—which I guess is a good thing?


PS. The 9,000 plus pages of Tolkien’s manuscript could easily have been 25 books rather than 3. Must have been a massive editing job. Wonder what was cut? I cannot imagine writing that many pages and then have it chopped down to maybe less than 20% of what I wrote. I think I would have been cursing the editor. From one write-on-the-fly guy to another –maybe Tolkien should have planned better.

Reader Reviews

Arriving sometime in 2019 – see Schedule comments below

Yes, the latest reader review post is back. Mostly I get great reviews and it is immensely appreciated. On occasion I will receive a less than positive review; yeah, I know, hard to believe. Reviewers are tying to be helpful to their fellow readers and have every right to say most anything they want. The majority of my negative reviews are about language. Apparently I use vile language and have a potty-mouth–thanks for the review mom I will try to do better.

I think those reviews are very helpful to me and the potential reader. If certain words offend you then I don’t want you to read my books–because those words are in there; I don’t think a lot of them, but some readers seem offended by only a few. So its best if you are warned by reviewers that the language might offend. I would do that myself if there was some mechanism like movies to attach a rating.

On the other hand I do get some strange reviews that offer little if any benefit.

The latest strange review has to do with an upset reader who complained because there were advertisements for my books buried in the text of the book–and she asked “who would do something like that?” My guess would be no one. An author would not, they would know it would be stupid and just irritate the reader. You might put something in the back but not in the actual book. So how did the ads get in the book? Beats me. I contacted Amazon but did not get a meaningful reply. But my guess is it has something to do with Amazon and their reader sticking ads in inappropriate places. Why would they do that? Once again just a guess, but it would be because they can and it works. One reader might find it offensive but another might just click and generate revenue for Amazon.

Let’s be clear. I don’t begrudge Amazon any revenue generating scheme they come up with–it’s there web site and they should be able to do whatever works for them. As an author if I take offense I have the option to take my greatly in-demand book business somewhere else. More than likely Amazon wouldn’t notice and it would only harm me–so, I will live with a few snags here and there.

It does seem unfair a reader now hates me for something I had nothing to do with. I’m sure that reader will be more than happy to share her thoughts about the idiot author hiding advertisements in his prose with anyone who will listen. They will collectively wonder what kind of moron does things like that–obviously a bad writer who thinks he can secretly steal money from unsuspecting readers. What has the world come to–plus he uses vulgar language.

Well, dear reader, I should apologize for whatever happened; after-all, the book does have my name on it. But let me assure you, I did not write a book with an ad in it. But like so much in life, apparently I cannot control everything that happens with my book once it ventures into the cyber world.

Schedules

Now here is a subject no one cares about; schedules. For much of my working life I met schedules everyday. I was a CPA and lived in the world of hard deadlines. These were not if you can possibly have it done by then deadlines–these were you will be fired if you miss them deadlines.

Now I operate in a different world, where deadlines are often just suggestions. Not sure how it is in your world but missing deadlines drives me crazy. I’m a planner. This has benefits in some things and drawbacks in others. But I plan my day, my months activity, what I’ll accomplish this year, next year–it is disgusting. No, just go with the flow for me–it must be planned.

So I work on my detailed plan for the whole year and somewhere around the middle of January something I need from someone else to accomplish my plan does not arrive on time. My plan is garbage. Less than one month into the year–it is wasted.

So after the beginning of the year fell apart I decided I would just relax, enjoy my free time and I will work when the other stuff shows up. Easy going me–never stressed; schedules don’t matter. No more nasty emails asking where the hell such and such is. Have tried that for a few months and surprise; nothing has been done on schedule, stuff is already months behind–I have stopped working. Now I don’t think this is anyone’s fault but my own. I was a certain kind of person and because that seemed to annoy others I tried to become someone else–didn’t work. My writing has stopped because I can’t stick to a schedule.

Never in the past did I recognize how important it had been for me to stick to a schedule; pushing myself to meet artificially set deadlines. But now without them I have fallen apart. The only way around this is to go back to my schedule setting ways and stop dealing with people who cannot meet my deadlines. Could be a lonely existence but everything will be ready on time.